Marshall Rosenberg teaches that we always have a choice in how we hear a message. Two paths lead to disconnection (Jackal), two lead to connection (Giraffe).
Self-blame and guilt. "It's my fault", "I'm so stupid". We turn the message against ourselves.
Blame and judgment. "They're so mean", "What's wrong with them?". We attack the other person.
Self-empathy. "I feel hurt because I need respect". We connect with our own feelings and needs.
Empathy. "Are you feeling frustrated because you need support?". We try to understand the other's feelings and needs.
"What others do may be a stimulus of our feelings, but not the cause."
— Marshall Rosenberg