Origins and Founder
Marshall Rosenberg (1934-2015) created NVC drawing on several influences: Carl Rogers' humanistic psychology, Gandhi's work on non-violence, and his own mediation experiences in conflict contexts.
Having grown up in a difficult neighborhood in Detroit and experienced violent situations, Rosenberg developed NVC to answer a fundamental question: "How do some people manage to stay caring even in difficult situations?"
The 4 Steps of NVC: The OFNR Process
NVC is built around four essential components, often summarized by the acronym OFNR:
1. Observation
Describe concrete facts without judgment or interpretation. Distinguish what we observe objectively from our evaluations.
Practice: Observation or Judgment?
Test your ability to distinguish factual observations from judgments with our interactive exercise.
Start the exercise2. Feeling
Identify and express our emotions about the observed situation. NVC distinguishes true feelings from "pseudo-feelings" which are disguised thoughts.
Practice: Real Feeling or Pseudo-feeling?
Learn to distinguish real feelings from disguised accusations with our interactive exercise.
Start the exercise3. Need
Connect our feelings to our fundamental needs. NVC posits that all humans share the same universal needs: safety, belonging, autonomy, recognition.
Discover the 70+ Universal Human Needs
Explore our comprehensive reference of universal needs organized by categories.
View the referencePractice: Need or Strategy?
Learn to distinguish universal needs from specific strategies with our interactive exercise.
Start the exercise4. Request
Make a clear, concrete, and achievable request. A true request is not a demand: the other person is free to refuse, and their refusal opens a dialogue.
Practice: Request or Demand?
Learn to spot the difference between true requests and demands with our interactive exercise.
Start the exerciseDouble Listening: Empathy and Self-Empathy
NVC is not limited to self-expression. It also includes:
- Empathic listening : welcoming what the other person is experiencing (their observations, feelings, needs, requests) without judging or advising.
- Self-empathy : giving yourself kindness, recognizing your own needs before communicating.
Practice: Empathic Listening
Learn to distinguish empathic listening from advice, sympathy, and reassurance with our interactive exercise. 12 scenarios to master!
Start the exerciseApplications of NVC
Nonviolent Communication applies in many contexts:
Family relationships
Caring parenting, couple communication
Professional environment
Management, team leadership, conflict resolution
Education
Classroom management, teacher-student relationship
Personal development
Better self-awareness, emotional management
Why "Nonviolent"?
The term "nonviolent" refers to the concept of non-violence as defined by Gandhi (ahimsa). In this context, "violence" refers to anything that breaks the connection with others or with ourselves: judgments, criticisms, demands, threats, guilt-tripping.
NVC offers an alternative: communication that maintains connection even in disagreements, focusing on needs rather than blame.
Frequently Asked Questions
Practice with Free Exercises
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Observation or Judgment?
Learn to distinguish objective facts from interpretations and evaluations.
Feeling or Pseudo-feeling?
Identify real feelings vs judgments disguised as feelings.
Need or Strategy?
Distinguish universal needs from specific means to satisfy them.
Request or Demand?
Formulate open, concrete, and negotiable requests.
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